Everyone has haters. Everyone.
Here’s why we worry about them, why I used to worry about them, and why we can all stop:
We worry it means we are not good people:
There are people who hate Mother Teresa. No joke… Mother Teresa. I won’t go into the reasons why. You can Google them on your own time. And I don’t know much about Mother Teresa…never met her. But I do know that to many, she was not only a good person, she was a GREAT person. Better than me.
Mother Teresa has haters, she was a good person. You have haters, you are a good person (Logic)
We don’t understand why they don’t like us.
That’s fine because it’s none of your business. Not at all. It’s not your business to understand how someone else thinks.
I am a great friend. A lot of people who barely know me also think i’m a fantastic person. Since starting this blog, people have called me “inspirational,” “motivating,” people have messaged and said I’m a “good role model for young women.”
It’s great to hear all of that, it really means a lot, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know that plenty of people HATE ME. I don’t understand why one group of people feels one way, and the other feels how they do. People make no damn sense.
Just move on.
We don’t want people to be mean to us in public.
There are so many ex boyfriends, ex friends, relative strangers out there who despise my existence. We all know who those people are, and we worry that it will make things strange for us if we see them out in a bar or at a party. I get it.
But take it from me…no matter how much someone dislikes you…when they see you, they’re going to treat you like they love you. That’s because people are chicken shit. Even though they dont like you…they’re going to pretend like they like you. I promise.
So basically, if someone likes you, they are going to be friendly when they see you. If someone doesn’t like you, they too, are most likely going to be friendly when they see you. No issue.
We worry other people we meet won’t like us because of things our haters say.
So you’re worried about people who make up their minds about others before even meeting them. You’re worried these people won’t want to be your friend? Why? That doesnt sound like a problem. Not even a small one.
Sounds like the haters are doing you a favor on this one.
We are worried there is actually something wrong with us, and that we need to change.
Fair enough. Some of us really do need to change things about ourselves.
But if the haters are the one pointing these aspects of our personality out…you’ve got bigger issues. Your friends and family…the people who love you…that’s their job. And it’s your job to listen. So were you listening?
I’ve said it before…my friends are my mirrors. Yours should be too. And if they’re good friends, odds are they have mentioned things to us that we should adjust…but for some reason we only pay attention when other people say it to us. So if you’re getting the message from both sides…yeah…evaluate that. Change it if you want to. But it still doesn’t make you a bad person if you don’t.
You don’t owe anything to the haters. Never change for them. Never.
You do owe a lot to the people you love. You can change for them. Always.
So like I said before…everyone has haters…
You can find a group of haters for pretty much any “good” cause or person out there today. We often wonder why there’s a shortage of good or honest people in the world, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that people only love to TALK about how they don’t have “good” things or people in their lives.
Then the second they meet someone who is happy, or honest, or doing something good, many people try their hardest to tear them down. Or to find the cracks. And if none exist…people try to create them. Never crack for haters.
Keep your head up, shake it off, keep smiling (always keep smiling). That’s what you do and should keep doing.
Let the hater’s hate.