A Brief Response to the Stanford Rapist’s Father

For incredibly personal reasons, I don’t like commenting on stories about sexual assault, But I just can’t even deal with this nonsense…

In case  you haven’t heard about this case, and want to be thoroughly depressed, you can read about it here.

Basically, a Stanford student, Aaron Brock Turner, was convicted of assaulting a woman.  He was found by two people who were passing by, and tried to flee the scene.  He was sentenced to six months in jail because the judge did not want to “ruin” his life.

The light sentence, and judge’s reaction didn’t surprise me much.  I wasn’t shocked, I wasn’t angry, I was just glad there was a conviction, honestly.  Because statistically, that almost never happens. 

What  “got” to me, was the accused’s father sitting down and basically speaking up for his son, all the while speaking out against the  experiences of assault victims everywhere.

I honestly don’t know whether to cringe or cry, so I guess I’ll just go ahead and actually comment on some of the father’s concerns about his son’s future.  His son who raped a girl. Raped her behind a dumpster.

 

Below is the statement of the accused student’s father. I’ve inserted my comments where needed.

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As it stands now, Brock’s life has been deeply altered forever by the events of Jan 17th and 18th.

Don’t worry. So has the victim’s.  Getting assaulted behind a dumpster tends to really change your outlook on things

He will never be his happy go lucky self with that easy going personality and welcoming smile.

She won’t either. Her “happy go lucky self” was most likely last seen the moments before your son took her behind a dumpster…and raped her. 

His every waking minute is consumed with worry, anxiety, fear, and depression. You can see this in his face, the way he walks, his weakened voice, his lack of appetite.

So is hers. I imagine she sometimes feels okay, until the anxiety and depression your son caused by raping her flares back up. 

Brock always enjoyed certain types of food and is a very good cook himself. I was always excited to buy him a big ribeye steak to grill or to get his favorite snack for him. I had to make sure to hide some of my favorite pretzels or chips because I knew they wouldn’t be around long after Brock walked in from a long swim practice. Now he barely consumes any food and eats only to exist.

Please rest assured that there is another family dealing with watching their child waste away.  The family of the girl who your son drunkenly raped and left behind a dumpster.  

Maybe if your son hadn’t been so busy treating women like pieces of meat, he’d be able to sit down and enjoy that rib-eye with you.  Looks like you’ll know what to get him for his first family dinner home when he finally gets out of jail…in 90 days. 

These verdicts have broken and shattered him and our family in so many ways. His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve.

Don’t worry…These verdicts have broken and shattered the family of the girl who your son raped as well.   You’re not alone. 

But hey… If there is any silver lining to this cloud of awful, please just know that you are “Saving” many other families the same “grief” of watching their rapist child being punished for something they did.

Because, honestly, watching the way this trial played out pretty much guarantees that many victims of sexual assault are going to come to the conclusion that it’s just not worth it to press charges. It’s just not worth it to speak out.  

And they’ll suffer in silence and scream into pillows when letters like this continue to pop up in the main stream media. 

That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life. 

<screams into pillow>

First off, by “action” do you mean “assault?”  You MUST mean assault, because that’s what your son is being sent to jail for. No one ever has had to “pay a price” for getting a little action.  It just doesn’t happen.  

You DO have to pay a price when you get a little “assaulty” with someone.  Yes, that’s a word.

So, I’m not sure if anyone’s ever told you this, but there actually is not an acceptable amount of minutes you’re allowed to assault someone no matter how old you are.   The ratio doesn’t exist but if it did, it’d be this:  

The ratio of assault to age is zero.  You’re allowed zero minutes of sexual assault in your lifetime. 

If you’re further confused…Here’s a chart: 

FullSizeRender (25)

The fact that he now has to register as a sexual offender for the rest of his life forever alters where he can live, visit, work, and how he will be able to interact with people and organizations.

You want to know what negatively effects your ability to interact with people?  Dealing with the aftermaths of being raped by a stranger and left behind a dumpster.  

What I know as his father is that incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Brock.

As his father, I feel your opinion on this matter is largely biased, which is why the jury didn’t ask or consult with you prior to their decision to find your son guilty of three accounts of sexual assault behind a dumpster. 

He has no prior criminal history and has never been violent to anyone including his actions on the night of Jan 17th 2015.

Once again, the jury largely disagrees with you on this one. As do the witnesses that pulled your son off the victim. 

Brock can do so many positive things as a contributor to society and is totally committed to educating other college age students about the dangers of alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity.

 I’m not sure if you picked up on this, but… He’s not going to jail for being promiscuous. That’s not the crime he’s being punished for.  He can have sex with as many men or women as he wants to.  It’s completely allowed. 

What’s not allowed?  Taking a completely inebriated co-ed behind a dumpster, assaulting her, and trying to run away when other people find you.  It’s  very illegal. 

By having people like Brock educate others on college campuses is how society can begin to break the cycle of binge drinking and its unfortunate results. Probation is the best answer for Brock in this situation and allows him to give back to society in a net’ positive way.

Very Respectfully,
Dan A. Turner

Ok, Mr. Turner…You want to begin to break the cycle of sexual assault?  Then how about you stop minimizing it? How about you stop referring to it as an “unfortunate result” of drinking.  

If anything else, please just stop saying that rape is a “result” of anything other than people like you not taking it seriously. 

And finally,  if your son is found guilty of rape (which he was) and the judge says he doesn’t want your son’s life to be ruined (which he did) you actually won the trial, yet you’re still asking for leniency… So here is where I have to ask you, very very respectfully,  to go behind a dumpster, and f*ck yourself.  

And if you need any guidance on how to go about doing that, just ask your son.  He’s got copious amounts of experience in this department.

 

  

 

 

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